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solareveillealthough I've been in fandom circles since middle school i did not care about rps/rpf One Bit until i got bangtan'd in junior year and even then it was mostly because i clicked on ao3 out of morbid curiosity (as i tend to do with pretty much everything) and was floored at the sheer amount of CONTENT.
the below is kind of a meandering rumination on me and kpop (shipping) which no one really asked for, but it's more fun that just listing a timeline of events, which is smth I've been wanting to do for a while.
early 2018 to mid 2019. i got into bangtan in late Feb in my junior yr of high school, so although it feels like I've been around a while it's not actually been /that/ long, in comparison to some of my friends lol. there was kind of a steep learning curve in getting to know kpop fic conventions (honorifics, cultural context, etc etc) but I found that pretty fascinating! stuck mostly to genfic and like... mv verse / hyyh fic at first, bc i defo had qualms about rpf/s (still do but like, whatever lollll). but I always kind of enjoyed seeing ao3 stats and stuff and naturally I was kind of exposed to popular ships and whatnot. yes I was a taekook shipper. it's fine
weirdly enough i feel like I remember the fics I read during this time most vividly. the authors I admired most were ao3 users batman and mindheist, neither of whom still write for bangtan but their fics were Actually Formative To Me, I think. I read mindheist's LA frat au (skipping the smut bc I'm me, lmaoooo) in hs before I even knew I'd be going to college in LA and it's got this silly special place in my heart. same with all of batman's taekook, and all for different reasons (i could go on at Length about the quasi-parasocial relationship I have with her fics but ehh let's not. ask me if ur curious)
early on i was fascinated by kpop as a whole and I Liked exploring dif groups, and i got into stray kids later that year as well (Day6 too but I don't count that one a whole lot bc I stayed super on the periphery). as a skz fan i was into changlix (this was a lot less embarrassing at the time) and well minsung+seungjin like Everyone Else. "making sure" by whiskerprince is one of the only fics that really left an impression, but there were some others I forgot now. for day6 I found like one author for jae/youngk whose fics I adored and didn't go Anywhere else. altho i sorta lurked around twt and tumblr i think this time was nice because i wasnt that badly embroiled in the Actual Fandoms yet, i just enjoyed everything on my own. kinda miss that? but i also like talking to people too much to Not involve myself in fandom, ehehe
this I'd put at maybe mid-late 2019 to late 2020. this is kind of even more embarrassing than era 1 for some reason, but i tend to chalk it up to #college_depression and whatever else. for various reasons I fell out of skz fandom (2019 was kind of bad) and kind of started hating 4th gen as a whole hdkdjdnsksd it didn't help that i was a little underwhelmed by txt's debut. anyways i retreated into bangtan fandom and ignored everything else for a while but I kinda exhausted all the good fic for my favs at that point and everything else was like, weird or dark or had massively skewed dynamics and I unfortunately read a lot of odd things at that time I'd rather forget (this is directly tied to me getting way too into Twitter happenings and wanting to fight everyone all the time... rip. I avoided making an acc until college which was a Good Decision but then i couldn't resist eventually)
2020 was the year of Screwing My Head Back On Straight and repairing my relationship with fandom, pretty much. I started like ten wips during this time and only posted one, but getting back into writing and finding a set of friends who made me enjoy being an army again (hi bby gang) helped a lot. shippingwise, I found i liked vminkook more than any individual pairing lol. this is also when I finally went moa (i loved tdcm but didn't get invested till tdce) and eventually got yeonbinned (lol) by a friend who sent me a couple fics.
one interesting thing i noted around this time is that i don't tend to write the same kind of stuff I prefer to read. both shippingwise (my most treasured bangtan wip is taegi, which i don't tend to seek out on ao3) and content wise (not gonna get into it but Weird Personal Relationship w romance which makes it smth I'm always hesitant to write. yeah)
^ does anyone else do this? I'm curious.
ah yes the enha/ateez reveillefic reckoning. I was a debut engene coz I didn't watch iland initially but I loved g-t. the fact that it was a small fandom without established narratives colored my experience super differently from btxt who already had a pretty sizeable ficdom; that said, early days were kind of hell in the tag and kind of still are :') no one can ever explain to me why HEEHOON are popular. *is heejayist and jakehoonist*
anyways I spent 3 months completely obsessed with enha before switching gears to ateez (thanks kim hongjoong numb cover and also inception) and like it was SUUUCH a culture shock lmao. debut era enha were kind of awkward and their friendships + onscreen dynamics were still developing (duhhh considering they came off a survival show) (well they still Are developing but they've had more time to solidify since) and so it was like... these boys are Barely coworkers atm... yeah lol.
then I started watching ateez predebut content (March-ish) and djdkjd they're so LOUD AND AFFECTIONATE it kind of kills me. they obviously had a lottt more time to grow close even in the kq fellaz era content. also, I think the atmosphere of their stuff just seems so much more chill? I'm kind of reminded of early bangtan, in a way that txthypen do Not rly (small vs big company... it's Real. even when it's the same company). also, the lack of a distinct age difference - only 2.5 yrs between Seonghwa and Jongho - probably plays a role here, even tho hongjoong is defo one of the more actively Leadery kpop leaders I've seen. anyways theres sooo much to get into with ateez, there's a reason this has been my primary fixation since March.
the way i go about shipping has changed quite a bit in the last nine months. most prominently, I care about Articulating dynamics now, in a way I didn't before? like, talking abt the specific ways ppl interact is fun to me. this goes hand in hand w me enjoying canonfic a bit more, lol.
this has also been the era of INTERGROUP SHENANIGANS! this started out with me being really really into txthypen (and reading a few btxt fics but there's only a few of those I've actually enjoyed). I don't think i stan enough groups to really have fun with this but I am currently very happy in my txteez sandbox. *gestures tiredly at wooyoung and yeonjun* #firsts anyone?? also aint it funny that i just stick txt everywhere i go... does anyone remember the choi yeonjun mindmap
anyways, that's where we're at. writingwise I kind of don't care what I'm doing except that I'm having fun, but I'm enjoying writing for ateez lately, their dynamics are just so delicious. I also have a bunch of stuff sitting around in google drive that I'd like to get to eventually, we'll see.
one point: it is very hard to get me to care about more than two or three dynamics in a group usually. I think I've mentioned before, I'm not Not a multishipper but I'm also like.. if there's a ship that's not my mainship for a character I kind of just *shrug* with this tho I think quality of writing has started to matter to me more than ship,,, possibly because I'm kind of struggling in smaller fandom ao3 tags LOL. just, if it's good it's good. lmao
there's also a certain pattern with some groups where I have like... one 2-person ship and one trio that r incredibly important to me? this has happened a couple times lol. I don't know if that counts it's just an interesting observation. I like triangles, romantic or otherwise!
as far as shipping preferences go, I think there's a vague/nebulous element of "balance" that I always like to see - like, in some way, two people have to be evenly matched to me, even if it manifests in dif ways. other things:
shared history
this nearly ALWAYS gets me. from heejaywon to nebulous heeseung + txt backstory to woosang(jun) to sope predebut stories, if there's something there from Before I'm more inclined 2 pay attention. the exception here seems to be txt wherein i have No idea who vibed w who predebut except for sookai and I.. unfortunately don't care about sookai
contrasts
you ever just REALLY LIKE sun/moon narratives. or per my klance days, red/blue??? this is again pretty vague but i Feel it. I usually think about woosang here, and defo sope, and maybe taekook to an extent? (wait this is also changlix. this tracks) so not necessarily an opposites attract deal, but I'm not immune to introvert/extrovert shipping lollll. am also looking at sun/moon hair tyunning abt this and Maybe jakehoon but that's a lil bit stretching it
duty/responsibility vs relationships
this is more fic-tropey than exactly about dynamics but I like this in the Specific instance of needing to care for/abt the Whole Group vs caring abt one specific person - and i also rly love when people end up /sharing/ that responsibility instead. taking on e/o's burdens? i suppose? this section is just seongjoong yall pffffff i think leader/eldest pairs are where it tends to hit most. but sjdkdjkd also earlydays heejay I think. in bangtan i think of namgi (and in my heart of hearts I really love yeonbin for this but the accuracy is questionable). for the #vibes here plz see the beach by the neighborhood which I scream the lyrics to every fortnight on priv.
x person has TWO hands
it's funny how often I do this but CANT STOP WONT STOP. vminkook, woosansang, hanlimz, i just really enjoy my trios. there's always unfortunately a lesser appreciated duo within, esp when there's 2 "competing" popular ships represented, but in cases like that I find it fun to imagine how they'd work out together. specifically in the case of sansang, I've rly enjoyed seeing their relationship grow. re:vminkook it's a funny case where the objectively most popular ship is the one that underwent the most obvs change over time - vmin and jikook have just always been so Loud.
intricate_rituals
not a lot to say here actually, but I just. *waves hand vaguely at woosan* can i get whatever they're having to-go
lol idk i am just Fascinated by casual touch. and roughhousing as a means of expressing affection? as someone whose love language is Mostly draping myself all over ppl i like (if they're ok w it obvs) I like seeing what touch means to different people, also when one party is freer with it than another.
and a short list of things i Do Not vibe with
eldest/youngest: idk even when there's not much of a gap it squicks me out. kind of a case by case basis on that tho
woobification: -___- not much 2 say except Why. fastest way to make me click out of a fic, actually...
a/b/o: I have definitely seen this done well but as a rule I tend to avoid... it just rubs me the wrong way 2 see people reinventing oppression/sexism thru fake wolfpack terminology
overt power differentials: this is part of what I'm saying when i talk abt balance.. if they don't Both have agency/personality/a Voice, I don't want it. I guess this is kinda the same thing as the woobification point.
there's probably more stuff I could say but I'm tired now. feel free to comment if u like!
the below is kind of a meandering rumination on me and kpop (shipping) which no one really asked for, but it's more fun that just listing a timeline of events, which is smth I've been wanting to do for a while.
era 1: i was cringe.... but i was free
early 2018 to mid 2019. i got into bangtan in late Feb in my junior yr of high school, so although it feels like I've been around a while it's not actually been /that/ long, in comparison to some of my friends lol. there was kind of a steep learning curve in getting to know kpop fic conventions (honorifics, cultural context, etc etc) but I found that pretty fascinating! stuck mostly to genfic and like... mv verse / hyyh fic at first, bc i defo had qualms about rpf/s (still do but like, whatever lollll). but I always kind of enjoyed seeing ao3 stats and stuff and naturally I was kind of exposed to popular ships and whatnot. yes I was a taekook shipper. it's fine
weirdly enough i feel like I remember the fics I read during this time most vividly. the authors I admired most were ao3 users batman and mindheist, neither of whom still write for bangtan but their fics were Actually Formative To Me, I think. I read mindheist's LA frat au (skipping the smut bc I'm me, lmaoooo) in hs before I even knew I'd be going to college in LA and it's got this silly special place in my heart. same with all of batman's taekook, and all for different reasons (i could go on at Length about the quasi-parasocial relationship I have with her fics but ehh let's not. ask me if ur curious)
early on i was fascinated by kpop as a whole and I Liked exploring dif groups, and i got into stray kids later that year as well (Day6 too but I don't count that one a whole lot bc I stayed super on the periphery). as a skz fan i was into changlix (this was a lot less embarrassing at the time) and well minsung+seungjin like Everyone Else. "making sure" by whiskerprince is one of the only fics that really left an impression, but there were some others I forgot now. for day6 I found like one author for jae/youngk whose fics I adored and didn't go Anywhere else. altho i sorta lurked around twt and tumblr i think this time was nice because i wasnt that badly embroiled in the Actual Fandoms yet, i just enjoyed everything on my own. kinda miss that? but i also like talking to people too much to Not involve myself in fandom, ehehe
era 2: twitter ruins all
this I'd put at maybe mid-late 2019 to late 2020. this is kind of even more embarrassing than era 1 for some reason, but i tend to chalk it up to #college_depression and whatever else. for various reasons I fell out of skz fandom (2019 was kind of bad) and kind of started hating 4th gen as a whole hdkdjdnsksd it didn't help that i was a little underwhelmed by txt's debut. anyways i retreated into bangtan fandom and ignored everything else for a while but I kinda exhausted all the good fic for my favs at that point and everything else was like, weird or dark or had massively skewed dynamics and I unfortunately read a lot of odd things at that time I'd rather forget (this is directly tied to me getting way too into Twitter happenings and wanting to fight everyone all the time... rip. I avoided making an acc until college which was a Good Decision but then i couldn't resist eventually)
2020 was the year of Screwing My Head Back On Straight and repairing my relationship with fandom, pretty much. I started like ten wips during this time and only posted one, but getting back into writing and finding a set of friends who made me enjoy being an army again (hi bby gang) helped a lot. shippingwise, I found i liked vminkook more than any individual pairing lol. this is also when I finally went moa (i loved tdcm but didn't get invested till tdce) and eventually got yeonbinned (lol) by a friend who sent me a couple fics.
one interesting thing i noted around this time is that i don't tend to write the same kind of stuff I prefer to read. both shippingwise (my most treasured bangtan wip is taegi, which i don't tend to seek out on ao3) and content wise (not gonna get into it but Weird Personal Relationship w romance which makes it smth I'm always hesitant to write. yeah)
^ does anyone else do this? I'm curious.
era 3: no clue what's going on anymore
ah yes the enha/ateez reveillefic reckoning. I was a debut engene coz I didn't watch iland initially but I loved g-t. the fact that it was a small fandom without established narratives colored my experience super differently from btxt who already had a pretty sizeable ficdom; that said, early days were kind of hell in the tag and kind of still are :') no one can ever explain to me why HEEHOON are popular. *is heejayist and jakehoonist*
anyways I spent 3 months completely obsessed with enha before switching gears to ateez (thanks kim hongjoong numb cover and also inception) and like it was SUUUCH a culture shock lmao. debut era enha were kind of awkward and their friendships + onscreen dynamics were still developing (duhhh considering they came off a survival show) (well they still Are developing but they've had more time to solidify since) and so it was like... these boys are Barely coworkers atm... yeah lol.
then I started watching ateez predebut content (March-ish) and djdkjd they're so LOUD AND AFFECTIONATE it kind of kills me. they obviously had a lottt more time to grow close even in the kq fellaz era content. also, I think the atmosphere of their stuff just seems so much more chill? I'm kind of reminded of early bangtan, in a way that txthypen do Not rly (small vs big company... it's Real. even when it's the same company). also, the lack of a distinct age difference - only 2.5 yrs between Seonghwa and Jongho - probably plays a role here, even tho hongjoong is defo one of the more actively Leadery kpop leaders I've seen. anyways theres sooo much to get into with ateez, there's a reason this has been my primary fixation since March.
the way i go about shipping has changed quite a bit in the last nine months. most prominently, I care about Articulating dynamics now, in a way I didn't before? like, talking abt the specific ways ppl interact is fun to me. this goes hand in hand w me enjoying canonfic a bit more, lol.
this has also been the era of INTERGROUP SHENANIGANS! this started out with me being really really into txthypen (and reading a few btxt fics but there's only a few of those I've actually enjoyed). I don't think i stan enough groups to really have fun with this but I am currently very happy in my txteez sandbox. *gestures tiredly at wooyoung and yeonjun* #firsts anyone?? also aint it funny that i just stick txt everywhere i go... does anyone remember the choi yeonjun mindmap
anyways, that's where we're at. writingwise I kind of don't care what I'm doing except that I'm having fun, but I'm enjoying writing for ateez lately, their dynamics are just so delicious. I also have a bunch of stuff sitting around in google drive that I'd like to get to eventually, we'll see.
the commentary
one point: it is very hard to get me to care about more than two or three dynamics in a group usually. I think I've mentioned before, I'm not Not a multishipper but I'm also like.. if there's a ship that's not my mainship for a character I kind of just *shrug* with this tho I think quality of writing has started to matter to me more than ship,,, possibly because I'm kind of struggling in smaller fandom ao3 tags LOL. just, if it's good it's good. lmao
there's also a certain pattern with some groups where I have like... one 2-person ship and one trio that r incredibly important to me? this has happened a couple times lol. I don't know if that counts it's just an interesting observation. I like triangles, romantic or otherwise!
as far as shipping preferences go, I think there's a vague/nebulous element of "balance" that I always like to see - like, in some way, two people have to be evenly matched to me, even if it manifests in dif ways. other things:
shared history
this nearly ALWAYS gets me. from heejaywon to nebulous heeseung + txt backstory to woosang(jun) to sope predebut stories, if there's something there from Before I'm more inclined 2 pay attention. the exception here seems to be txt wherein i have No idea who vibed w who predebut except for sookai and I.. unfortunately don't care about sookai
contrasts
you ever just REALLY LIKE sun/moon narratives. or per my klance days, red/blue??? this is again pretty vague but i Feel it. I usually think about woosang here, and defo sope, and maybe taekook to an extent? (wait this is also changlix. this tracks) so not necessarily an opposites attract deal, but I'm not immune to introvert/extrovert shipping lollll. am also looking at sun/moon hair tyunning abt this and Maybe jakehoon but that's a lil bit stretching it
duty/responsibility vs relationships
this is more fic-tropey than exactly about dynamics but I like this in the Specific instance of needing to care for/abt the Whole Group vs caring abt one specific person - and i also rly love when people end up /sharing/ that responsibility instead. taking on e/o's burdens? i suppose? this section is just seongjoong yall pffffff i think leader/eldest pairs are where it tends to hit most. but sjdkdjkd also earlydays heejay I think. in bangtan i think of namgi (and in my heart of hearts I really love yeonbin for this but the accuracy is questionable). for the #vibes here plz see the beach by the neighborhood which I scream the lyrics to every fortnight on priv.
x person has TWO hands
it's funny how often I do this but CANT STOP WONT STOP. vminkook, woosansang, hanlimz, i just really enjoy my trios. there's always unfortunately a lesser appreciated duo within, esp when there's 2 "competing" popular ships represented, but in cases like that I find it fun to imagine how they'd work out together. specifically in the case of sansang, I've rly enjoyed seeing their relationship grow. re:vminkook it's a funny case where the objectively most popular ship is the one that underwent the most obvs change over time - vmin and jikook have just always been so Loud.
intricate_rituals
not a lot to say here actually, but I just. *waves hand vaguely at woosan* can i get whatever they're having to-go
lol idk i am just Fascinated by casual touch. and roughhousing as a means of expressing affection? as someone whose love language is Mostly draping myself all over ppl i like (if they're ok w it obvs) I like seeing what touch means to different people, also when one party is freer with it than another.
and a short list of things i Do Not vibe with
eldest/youngest: idk even when there's not much of a gap it squicks me out. kind of a case by case basis on that tho
woobification: -___- not much 2 say except Why. fastest way to make me click out of a fic, actually...
a/b/o: I have definitely seen this done well but as a rule I tend to avoid... it just rubs me the wrong way 2 see people reinventing oppression/sexism thru fake wolfpack terminology
overt power differentials: this is part of what I'm saying when i talk abt balance.. if they don't Both have agency/personality/a Voice, I don't want it. I guess this is kinda the same thing as the woobification point.
there's probably more stuff I could say but I'm tired now. feel free to comment if u like!
no subject
Date: 2021-09-12 02:28 pm (UTC)glad 2020 was healing for you in the ways of fandom, my thanks to the people that helped, and FUCK the people who harmed (hello kia-nya shoutout<333) soooo glad to have you atzing with me i genuinely dont know what i'd do w/o u bollywooding a ship and making me lose my mind. jaane tu ya jaane na? Yeah.
in terms of tropes, woobification makes me laugh not because i disagree but mostly for my semi-serious need to see yunho be teeny-babyified. like will i ever write it? no. will i ever actually enjoy it written by a non-friend? also no. but like in my HEAD i need him that way.
also ur question re: writing different things from what you seek made me think...maybe it's cos i do treat fanfic as escapism and happy distraction, i Usually don't reach out for the heavier, longer stuff. like my main complaint against atinyo3 is the severe lack of shorter, fluff pieces set in a contemporary au??? but then my own ideas for them, while not necessarily fantasy or anything, Do tend to be heavier in that i'm a sucker for character study stuff. thank you for the thinkies :D
p.s: consider this me asking about batman
no subject
Date: 2021-09-12 09:15 pm (UTC)bollywooding things is a FAVORITE pastime of mine and has forever been so!! here's a new one for u from yesterday: woosang dagariya chalo (I have not watched this movie but the song is so Much fun 2 me)
re:yunho I may not completely understand but always support <3 <3 here's hoping you find someone who does it Right for u!! he is indeed so bean.
hope ur having a good day friend 💫